Soooo…. We are marching into weak 2 and I say weak very
intentionally because frankly we have seen a great deal of weak play in the
KUBE. #sad. Low energy Russian Oligark
Jon Becker moved houses over opening weekend and the KUBE Knation was left to
itself to watch the drama unfold. There
was a lot of drama but speaking personally, nothing good for me happened once
New Mexico State and Yale fell in the first round. Both teams gave spirited efforts but at the
end of the day… nothing.
We have had some upsets.
We have had some fun. Thursday
opened at Hot Shots with a throng of KUBE supporters filling the Webster Hot
Shots and screaming obscenities, drinking, smoking and performing the random
small animal sacrifice while drinking copious amounts fo Busch, Bud Select
(what makes it “select”?) and Mountain Dew Code Red because you see, in the
throng we had not only Greg Gates, not only David Kowert but the inimitable Ben
(Big Ben) Kowert who was on Spring Break (Break from WHAT?) from CBC. Actually, that was the whole crowd but a good
time was had by all. There were other
gatherings of the faithful, some on Friday (a bastardization of NCAA/KUBE
Tradition) at Kirkwood Brew House and of kourse a lot of people surreptitiously
watching on their computers at work (God Bless You).
The Standings…. The standings…. Deeply troubling. As of 1:23 PM on the 25th with the
Second Round Komplete I have the same question I ask every year….WHO ARE THESE
PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO TAKE MY MONEY? Kowert P. in number one. I assume this is Paul. Paul is a kousin of David and the Kowert Winstroer clan is a feral group,
primarily from West Kounty with no respect for God, Kountry or KUBE Tradition. I have tried to get them banned and despite
Uncle John’s best efforts to “bring down the internet” with his failure to
figure out how to enter, pay, turn on the computer and switch off FOX News
(Fair and Balanced), there is… a grotesque amount of “those people” involved in
this thing of ours. Paul has Tennessee
going all the way and a strong possible point total. Clearly… he is to be reckoned with. I don’t
know Mindak (North Karolina) or Frontczak (Kentucky). Frontscak is named “Joey” so I am assuming he
is 7 and his parents don’t like him very much.Collin Fields, a friend of Jon
Bekker and victim of a “closed head trauma) is coming in at 4th with
Michigan State! What a hodge podge!
Collin is also tied for 6th in a showing that can only be described
as…piggish.
Looking to the bottom of the standings at 650… kouldn t be
prouder to see my bride Sandy Bekker with her koin toss pick with remarkable
31% pick rate. We all know Sandy has
made a lot of poor choices in her life with marriage… and children but who
knew…SHE IS JUST UNLUCKY! None of this
is her fault. I don’t know a lot of the
loveable losers at the bottom of the brakket other than my bride but I did
appreciate Logan Finnerty’s homage to our GREAT AND BENEVOLENT LEADER with his
“Trust The Gut” entry. Yes Logan… your
instincts are…excellent!
650 Entries. But how
many of you stupid, STUPID people even figured out how to pay? If you don’t have your money in by this week,
KUBE Management will start striking entries.
Even if you did pay your entry might be srtikken just because we
kan. You are not in control. There has been a great dela of FAKE KNEWS!
Regarding KUBE Management. Dan Kukla has
moved back to town, Donald (The Pilot) Kukla is… well who knows where Don is
this week, he is running his own personal “Wheres Waldo” contest where no one
other than his wife has any idea where he is day to day, week to week. Hunter and Patrick and Moneta have put his
picture on milk kartons hoping he might
be located tgo add some semblance of order to the KUBE. We are heartened and humbled by participation
this year. Remember that on Monday, the
finals that Donald “The Donald” Kukla, will be hosting a party at the depot
funded by your entry fees. This opulent
spread includes but is not limited to:
- Busch Beer
- Chic Fit Et Nuggets
- White Kastles (Plain and Cheeseburger)
- Jello Molds
- Rock Cocaine
- Foi Gras
- Stag Beer
- This is not an even to be missed.
Most importantly, when in the end, all the money winners and
whacky…whacky prizes go to people named Kukla or Bekker always remember that as
Mueller and Bekker have konkluded….
NO KOLLUSION!
Remember, KUBE is and always will be “Stupid People Doing
Stupid Things” and by participating you become one of the Stupid brotherhood
and sisterhood. Good lukk going into
week 2. As I like to say to my clients
when they discuss investing in their brother in laws new limited partnership….
What could possibly go wrong?