My mom is taking over the KUBE?
OH %$&*#@, MY MOM IS TAKING OVER THE KUBE!!!
As a wise wanton man once said… what kind of %$&*#@ up world are we living in?
The Sweet 16 gave us four (er, make that 3.5) amazing games tonight last knight, but as of the final media time out in the knightkap it looked like all chalk would survive. As far as Madness goes, it was pretty standard stuff. Great knight for watching. Not so great for blogging.
Translation: bedtime.
Um, X that.
ICYMI, Xavier made a furious 9-0 run in the final minutes to stun crowd favorite Arizona. It was the perfekt end to a sweet knight of hoops. Yet I was still feeling rather uninspired for what to write. We were still pretty mild on the Madness meter. Five days in and we still don’t have a buzzer beater!
The Oregon-Michigan barn burner felt like it just ended without warning and the Ducks just happened to be slightly ahead. Kould have watched a whole ‘nother half of that if not for the other three games koming on.
“Press Virginia” was as impressive as advertised. Zaga won anyway, so I’d say yes, you kan be the most underrated team in the tourney even as a 1 seed.
Purdue-KU was fun until the second half started. Seems like we’re overdue for my Gollum-voiced “We hatesssss Kansas… nasty Jayhawks.”
And then came the grand finale, the late haymaker that X-ed out mighty Arizona.
At this point the blog was going to read something like… “Sweet; no one saw that koming; you were probably sleeping, so not many saw it happen either; make sure to watch Sports Center this morning; good night.”
Grasping for something a little more, I checked out the buzz on social media. Pretty typical stuff there as usual. Hmmm, I wonder the what the standings look like OH MY SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY WHAT THE %$&*#@ IS “KUKLA, MARIA” DOING THAT HIGH!?!?
What the…
Sixth place?!?! Halfway into the Sweet 16 and my mom is in SIXTH PLACE! How is that even possible?
And there it is, a few columns over under the “Predicted Champ” label: Xavier.
I don’t have the slightest idea as to why my mom picked Xavier. Maybe she flipped a coin. Maybe Kenda the Kat scratched a big X on the couch. Maybe she has a thing for musketeers.
I do, however, know what wasn’t her reason for picking Xavier. It wasn’t bekause she watched two hours of Bracketology and three hours of “The Experts” — or, you know, a college basketball game here and there. It wasn’t bekause she liked how Xavier matched up with Maryland, FSU and Zona — or even knew anything about any of those teams. It wasn’t bekause she looked up the KenPom, BPI, 538 and NumberFire ratings/projektions and it wasn’t bekause she compared those to multiple sets of consensus picks so she kould Zag where everyone zigged.
How do I know all this?
Bekause she’s not in 401st place, like me.
Now that’s Madness.