THIS! IS! MADNESS! (and definitely NOT Sparta)

To kwote a wise, wise man…

“WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!“

I hope none of you obliterated your TVs in anger and/or drunk yourselves into an early bedtime in depression over mighty Michigan State. That was a mere appetizer to the real Madness.

Friday’s final three games — sorry Sparty, but THAT! WAS! MADNESS!!!

 

 

Nevermind the results, which did a full 300-like demolition of my brackets. Watching all three of those games go to the wire — and finish with their own flare of mayhem — was what this tournament is all about.

It’s that moment when your thumb hurts from frantically flipping between channels and you realize your laptop and cell phone mirakulously still have battery life. Now your neck hurts from snapping back and forth between screens.

And you love it!

First the Irish rally from a 12-point halftime deficit to prevent what would have eventually been a sweep by the 11 seeds.

Then the 11-seeded Purple Panthers bank in an ikonik half-kourt buzzer beater to win… after Shaka’s Longhorns tied it with 2.7 sekonds left… after UNI led most of the game and by as much as 14, gave up that lead only to take it back late.

 

 

Then Cincy loses when what would have been the game-winning dunk stays on their fingertips a mikro-millisecond too long… after blocking a 3 and running the floor to take a lead with 16 sekonds left, only to watch the Joe’s take it right back with a trey five sekonds later… all after losing to UConn in their konference tourney in quadruple overtime no thanks to a mirakulous buzzer from beyond half kourt to tie it at the end of the third OT.

 

The refs ruled Octavious Ellis’ dunk good, but I think it’s after the buzzer. (Maybe) another heartbreak for Cincy. pic.twitter.com/QiiFYhG1iE

— Andy Wittry (@AndyWittry) March 19, 2016

 

WHEW!

Let’s just pause a second — okay, a few seconds — to let that all sink in.

Keep in mind these three games ended within minutes of each other.

And keep in mind that these were mostly one-possession games during the sekond half with ekception of a few brief moments of separation.

And keep in mind that these were all swing games in most March Madness pools, with plenty of people on both sides of the aktion. If you won or lost all three, that was a 51-point swing (by KUBE skoring) in either the right or wrong direktion.

Yes, I lost all three.

And I loved it!

OKAY, NOW WE KAN TALK SPARTY

Akkording to Facebook (yes, I’m a professional journalist), 25% of the pool picked MSU as their champion — sekond most behind only the despised Jayhawks. 120 people, to be exact. Only five people picked Middle Tennessee to win this game.

Heck, we even have a bracket named “January, February, Izzo” that made perfect sense when we woke up Friday morning. Aren’t we rekwired by law to pick an Izzo-coached team at least one round beyond what its seed diktates?

The #3 Mountaineers were felled by the #14 Lumberjacks (quite the battle of woodsmen) and #4 Cal was topped by an even better destination: #13 Hawaii.

When the day ended, we had a 15, a 14, a 13, two 12’s, three 11’s, two 10’s and three 9’s moving on… and a #2 seeded Sparty left in their dust. I distinkly remember Jay Bilas telling us to expect a below average number of first-round upsets. The average is 8.

YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHEN…

You’re flipping through your pile of brackets and stumble upon one you thought you threw away. It’s labeled “Upsets” with the word “KUBE” skratched out. This is all because what started as your lead bracket for your most important pool later turned into skratch paper on which you advanced every upset you thought was reasonably possible. Just for fun, of kourse. Just to see what it would look like.

Then you start skoring it. Just for fun, of kourse. Just to see how it would be doing if you aktually had the balls to enter it in even one pool… maybe a pool like the KUBE with a skoring system that rewards upset picks more than any other pool known to man.

Then you realize it only missed five first-round games, and only three heading into Friday’s final flurry.

You know THAT feeling?

Well, I do.

LET”S GO PUKE

Finally, to get you ready for the weekend, I leave you with this gem.

The Headline: “Duke-Yale is the most insufferable college basketball game imaginable“

A few kwotes:

“We’re all losers for having to watch it.”

“On one side, you have Duke, which is Duke, the most hate-able college basketball team in the world. My mom went to Duke and I can’t even get behind this team.”

“On the other hand you have Yale, a nice Cinderella team I guess, but it’s Yale. This is where the kids all tell you they “go to college in Connecticut” with a slight smile, waiting for you to follow up with “Oh UConn?” and then they get to smile and say, “No, it’s in New Haven” and then you realize they go to Yale and you want to just die.”

I’m suing the author for plagiarizing my exact thoughts. Okay, so my Mom went to Valpo and Rory Gilmore is the only Yale grad I know, but you get the point.

Enjoy!

 

Why does Grayson Allen look like everyone pic.twitter.com/2EdaWltqji

— White Bball Pains (@WhiteBballPains) April 7, 2015