Glad to see the Madness is back. Unfortunately, I’m going to continue to write about nothing.
Such is the life of a dumb sports writer.
When nothing happens, you make nothing into something. Then, when something actually does happen, you ignore it and continue to talk about that nothing — because you made it something and now it’s all you want to talk about.
I’m talking, of course, about the conversation between Duke’s Coach K and Oregon’s Dillon Brooks.
IT WAS NOTHING!
Nothing to see here
I only mentioned it after Thursday’s games because I hate Duke and never hesitate to include a fun, throw-away line about Coach K when I have the chance — and because I’m a dumb sports writer, so when everyone else is talking about something I must talk about it too.
It was so obviously nothing that I figured it would blow over by the morning after all the assigned instant reaction articles were out of our system. But it did not blow over. Dumb sports writers weren’t satisfied with throw away lines during a one-night stand, and opted for a full-blown investigation.
They dug up they audio.
They read lips — which is even more unnecessary when you have the audio.
And then, even when the Madness resumed and there was something to really talk about, they continued to talk about this nothing during the broadcast.
So here I am, being a total hypocrite, still talking about nothing.
What’s that? Two teams who few thought would survive the first weekend (or even be in the tournament at all) advanced to the Elite 8 with dramatic late comebacks? What about that Madness Coach K was spewing after the Oregon game?!?!
You won’t believe what Brooks did. He shot (and made) a throw-away from way behind the arc as time was running out in a game that was already won. Oh, the Madness!
But you really won’t believe what Coach K said to him a few moments later: “You’re too good of a player to do that. You’re too good of a player.”
Yes, he said THAT. To his face! While shaking his hand!
I always knew Coach was just the worst!
Not only that, but he failed to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth when asked about it in the press conference.
Q. Apparently after the game Dillon said that you told him that he was too good of a player to be showing off at the end like that —
K: I didn’t say that.Q. He said of you that you were right.
K: You can say whatever you want. Dillon Brooks is a hell of a player. I said, “You’re a terrific player.” And you can take whatever he said and then go with it, all right?
Yes, Coach K chided Brooks, who is not his player, for actions that were, at worst, unnecessary. (Brooks later had to apologize for mentioning all this to the press, even though he was excessively respectful about it. This is the world we live in.)
Yes, Coach K didn’t exactly own that moment, making it seem like he was only congratulating him and not — gasp — coaching him.
In the words of a Little Einstein: I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! The man we know as COACH K was caught COACHING another player.
Mainstream media is teeing me up to slam my favorite punching bag here, but I just can’t do it. Coach K was just doing what coaches do. Doesn’t matter if he was making a mountain out of a molehill. Dude just lost a Sweet 16 game, so he was probably a little peeved. If THAT is what we consider going off the rails for him, well that explains why he is so highly regarded by just about everyone.
As for not entirely owning it in the press conference, I’m guessing the dude just knows what dumb sports writers do. Just look what they did with nothing. Imagine what would have happened if he gave them something.
Am I defending Coach K? No, because there’s nothing to defend. Remember, this was all nothing: The shot, the comments, the press conference… all nothing.
He still looks like a rat, coaches other team’s players like a rat and lies about it later like a rat.
Have I taught you nothing?!